There are times when I am so confused as to why things are the way they are.
Loads of things are logical.
But relationships? Those can be just so darn complicated.
I love my husband, but right this very moment I don't like him very much.
The kids and I hadn't seen him in over 5 1/2 months. We were all excited to see him.
But I am sad.
My husband didn't seem to have any interest in being near me.
He seemed so blase about the situation.
When I sat on the couch, I sat next to him.
When we were in the pool, I tried to be near him.
I attempted to initiate physical contact and it didn't seem like he wanted to reciprocate.
It felt like...I was a bother.
When I went to hold his hand in the car, he didn't take my entire hand as he would normally do. He took a couple fingers around my left pinky.
So I don't know what's going on.
I have no idea what he's thinking about us. Our marriage.
Do I still have a marriage?
Is it falling apart because of the physical separation?
Is he seeing someone there while I'm here?
I can only trust in the Lord and believe that He has a plan for me and the kids.