Between Marriage & Divorce - 33

October 19

PD and I continue to have short conversations during the week. Not every day. Once every 2 or 3 days. Then we've got our Sunday night talks.

I do know that I make PD uncomfortable when I ask him probing questions. He doesn't say he's uncomfortable but I know he's not at ease when I ask him question after question. Who would be comfortable when in the line of fire?

But he did what he did. He did it without talking to me. So I think I'm justified asking him these questions. Someone who doesn't agree, please let me know.

I called PD yesterday and asked him how he'd feel about the kids and I coming out for the weekend. It was PD's nephew's 3rd birthday. They were having a party on Saturday. AND....BB didn't have a game on Saturday. Granted, BB's did have their regular Friday night practice scheduled but there was no game. So I figured that practice wasn't so critical, you know? So I decided to "call in sick" on Friday. This way we could drive out at noon and get there by 7pm. Good idea, no?

PD: If you want to.

Remember that when I asked him if we should come out Memorial weekend, he told me "no". So to hear him say "if you want to" was a positive response.

I know that he misses the kids terribly. And they miss him. Maybe a voluntary trip from us will show him HOW much we do want to see him and be with him. Show him that short visits can strengthen our bond until we move out there next year. Maybe it'll influence him to get HIS tail out here more often than he's been over the last 1 1/2 years.

I can only hope for the positive here. Hope for the best outcome. I just know that since his visit 2 weeks ago that I miss him more intensely. Probably becaues I hadn't seen and been with him in months. And because I felt connected to him again. A feeling that was lost was found once more. So I hope. I hope.