Saturday, January 05, 2013

2013 - 1st Saturday

I took off three days last week. It was so nice having those days off right after Christmas. I was able to extend the holiday. Sleeping in. Kicking back with the kids. But this week? Oy! I've been swamped. My co-worker took a couple days off before Christmas and then took the 3 days after New Years. So we've been short-handed. Two of us doing the work of three for about two weeks now. I've got about 6 more hours of work waiting for me to get to it before Monday. But I can't get motivated to log in.

My kids are stir-crazy from being on vacation for so long. On Wednesday, my daughter said that was anxious to get back to school. She's missing her friends and all the social interaction. It's funny because my son doesn't seem to care one iota that he hasn't seen his friends. He's just happy to play with his new DS and Xbox games. Funny how different they are. But they are living up to their gender stereotypes, you know?

I moved back here to be a family. The kids and I had been away two years. Way too long to be away from their father. He couldn't find a job here. So I moved back here for him. For us. Unfortunately, things are awkward between us. He's different now. Much different than he was 2 years ago. He's distant. He doesn't cuddle with me. He doesn't kiss me with any passion. He hugs me like you'd hug a relative you haven't seen in a while. He doesn't look me in the eyes.

I suspect that he's having an affair. I actually asked him point blank the other night. He said he wasn't. I hate to admit it, but I don't believe him. If he's not having an affair right now, then I suspect that he's on the verge of having one. You know when you suspect something is wrong deep down in your bones? THAT is what I'm feeling.

My gameplan from this point? I'm getting my ducks in a row. I'm trying to live skimpy so I pay my credit card down more while I put money away in a secet emergency fund. This is just in case we continue down this path. If I do find out he is having an affair, I'm going to ask him for a divorce. One affair I can forgive. Another one will break our marriage.

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