And we move to September 20th
It was a quiet day at work. When we talked yesterday and ended our conversation, PD said that he'd call me later. By the end of today, I couldn't help it. I called him. I had to know.
Me: Are you sending me the papers?
PD: Not right now.
Me: Did you break up with her?
So there's hope. My heart just about soared when he answered those two questions. He's giving us a chance! Our family! Our marriage!
I couldn't talk to him long because I had to leave work to get BB for football. But I left work with a little less weight on my chest. The 50-pound block that had been sitting on me since Thursday. I called him back up again when BB was at practice.
BB told me he plans on either flying out Oct 6th or driving out Oct 7th. I made a decision right then to take off Friday, Oct 7th. I was going to try to spend some alone time with him without the kids underfoot. This way we'd have time to really talk without being afraid of the kids hearing.
Rather than stay serious, I tried to lighten things up.
Me: Is there anything physical that I need to change?
Me: Am I too fat?
Me: Should I have even less hair "down there"?
PD: No. It's fine.
Me: When I saw you in July, did I look appealing in my swimsuit?
Me: Is there something that I'm not fulfilling for you sexually? That is WHEN we actually have sex.
PD: Everything is fine there.
Me: Maybe we should do that "have sex every day for a week" thing. [I tried to joke with him]
PD: That would mean he'd have to be out here or I'd have to be out there.
Me: There's Christmas!
I couldn't help it but I had to ask a couple questions about her.
Me: So is this girl on birth control?
PD: No. She's been through menopause.
Me: How old is she?
What the heck? I thought I was in competition with some young whipper-snapper. Now I find out he's knocking it with an older woman. A woman who was apparently falling in love with him. My husband. He said that she was upset about him breaking up with her. Uh...go figure? Lady? You got involved with a married man with children. Did you think there was potential for his wife to want to keep her husband -- her marriage -- her family intact? I guess she figured that I'd basically abandoned PD out in AZ. That he was a free bird. That I'd just agree to a divorce. NO!
I loved him first and I'm still in love with him despite of what he's done. Lady, you might have been with him for 3 or 4 or even 6 months, but I've been in love with him for 18 years. EIGHTEEN YEARS!
But I am curious about her. Especially now that I know that she's older than me.
** Is she Caucasian? Mexican? Italian?
** Has she been married before?
** Does she have any kids?
I wonder if he'll answer those kind of questions for me? He's been honest so far as I can tell with all the questions I've asked him. He hasn't hesitated. But I did tell PD that I do want to continue our talks. That when he's feeling down that he should call me. If he's lonely to call me. I want to be the person he goes to when he needs support. I should be the person he goes to, you know?