Between Marriage & Divorce - 18

September 29

PD will be here in a week! I'm in full prep mode. He'll arrive about 7pm in seven days! Right now I'm washing all his stuff. His sweats. His jammies. His socks. By the time I go to bed, all his stuff will be fresh and clean I wonder if he'll even notice?

Tonight I'll also be dying my hair. Boring? Yeah, maybe. But my hair will look fresh. Dark and full. That's the way I like it. I've been doing it for years. But in a few days I'll be doing something new! While I've shaved. While I've had a bikini wax. I've never had a Brazilian. And THAT is what I'm going to do in a few days. ARGH! It'll be interesting to be hairless. That's right. Bald. I hope they do a good job. It'll be an interesting experience, I'm sure. I wonder if PD will like it? Will it be something special?

I've also been trying to be good and exercising. Sit-ups. Push-ups. Squats. I've also been running a few times. I mean, since this all started I have lost a few pounds. I didn't have an appetite for the most part. I had to force myself to eat. So that kind of kick started me into getting fit. Yes. I'm trying to be small & vibrant for his visit. Maybe he'll see a glimpse of how I used to be when we first got together. Is that what he misses? The girl who would focus solely on him?

Well, I'm never going to be 25 again, so I have to make do with what I've got. I've got to try my best to get things tighter before he gets here. But I can only do so much. We'll see how things go when he is here.

How will he be when he finally looks at me after his confession? Will he be stiff and standoffish? Or will he greet me with open arms? I'm hoping ever so deeply that it'll be with open arms. I'm dreaming he'll have me back with open arms and an open heart ready to love me back as I've loved him.

I am just so anxious to be near him, so that we can be with each other. Relax in each others' arms with no one interrupting us. No distractions. Just us. It's going to be a rare treat. I hope it's a treat. Ready to express himself and to hear me out as well.