Saturday, October 29, 2011

Between Marriage & Divorce - 29

I know some of you are curious.

Did PD and I get intimate while he was out here?

Yes. We did.

I couldn't help it. I couldn't help but reach out and touch him. He was right there.

It wasn't only sexual. It was just the act of being close to him. To stand next to him. To hug him. To hold his hand.

Initially when I saw him Thursday night, it was awkward. Remember that I had to take a hot shower because I was upset with him for not answering a question? But once I finished my shower, we had a good discussion.

Once we got into bed, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to relax enough to enjoy it. But I finally just let myself go and relished in the moment. We actually were able to get together 3 times over his short visit. We even made love while the kids were awake downstairs.

It felt good to be close to him. It was worth it. To feel him inside me again. To be together as a couple.

I do have to tell you that I did ask PD some questions about Michelle while he was here.

He told me that Michelle wasn't very good. That they had missionary sex. She had bad knees so she couldn't move around too much. She couldn't be on top or be on her hands-knees. she wasn't good but he still kept going back to her for months. [sigh]

I just have to suck that one up. He did what he did. I have to take that and forgive that indiscretion. My choice. Forgive his mistake. Forgive his mis-step. Forgive his bad choices. Because he's now back into our reality -- that we are married and we each still love the other.

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