Saturday, November 12, 2011

Between Marriage & Divorce - 37

November 1

Do you know anyone who is going through some marriage issues?

Did they go to counseling or resolve the issues themselves?

Handling this by ourselves is quite a challenge from my own point of view.

I'm typically a quiet person but when I have something on my mind I like to hash it out. Not fighting. Talking. Talking it out helps me. It would be easier if PD would talk to me. But he's one who doesn't talk about deep things. He's always been that way. But he did put up a roadblock last night.

Me: I've got a question for you.
PD: The answer is no.
Me: What? No matter what question I might ask, the answer is no?
PD: Yes.
Me: Why?
PD: Because I don't want to keep re-living it.


He doesn't want to relive it? I'm the one left wondering about what, how , and when things happened. In my mind I never thought he'd cheat on me. And then he did. So my imagination runs wild through scenarios. Especially about the stuff he hasn't bothered to give me answers to.

I called him this morning to talk to him for a little bit and then told him that I was just a bit upset by what he said yesterday. He told me that he had a lot to do. Really? HE has a lot to do? I have a lot to do as well. But I'm willing to take a few minutes for my marriage. To actually TELL him that I was upset. I called him to also get some reassurance.

He told me that he would TELL me if I was doing something that he didn't like. But I had trusted him before to be open and honest with me. And then he closed himself off to me.THEN had an affair. So for me to trust him again without me being able to ask him questions? That's a lot to ask of me....

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