Between Marriage & Divorce - 31

October is now at an end.

My commitment to post something every day in October is complete.

The timing was something else. The focus was "Between" and I'm definitely at that point in my life.

I don't know if I'll continue to post every day.

I have to say that it has been difficult.

But I will continue to write.

Write about how things are going in this "between" stage that I'm floundering in.

The writing may have been difficult but living in this state of unknown is even harder.

Getting my balance back is what I'm trying to get to.

Who knows when I'll get there.

But I'll take it like I've been.

One day at a time.

Between Marriage & Divorce - 30

When PD was out here, we had a nice time.

One moment that stands out in my mind happened that Friday. When the Bear was at school and the Princess was coming back from camp.

Between Marriage & Divorce - 29

I know some of you are curious.

Did PD and I get intimate while he was out here?

Between Marriage & Divorce - 28

We've actually got a new goal.

A new goal?

Yes. A new one.

Between Marriage & Divorce - 27

October 9

I have to say that this was a good reunion. PD now understands that we love him and always have.

PD said that he changed his mind about sending me the divorce papers when I told him that I didn't want a divorce.

Between Marriage & Divorce - 26

PD and I talked a lot while he was out here.

To tell you the truth, I don't think PD ever really knows how he felt and why he felt it. He just did. THAT is the impression I'm getting.

Between Marriage & Divorce - 25

October 6

PD is here!

PD seemed pleased to be here when BB and I went to pick him up.

I wasn't sure how to act when I first saw him.

I'm not sure how he felt about how hesitant I was being.

But who could blame me for being hesitant? I mean, really?

We were both cautious with each other on the drive home. Mainly sticking to "safe" topics and interacting with BB.

Once BB was in bed, PD and I were able to talk. I did get a little perturbed with him at one point. I asked him a question and he gave me one of his "I don't know" responses. I looked at him and shook my head. I then walked upstairs. And took a HOT shower.

Yes. This is how I handled my discontent. I took a hot shower. It's something that my Mom used to do when she was upset with my father.The act of showering would change her mood. Like she'd wash away the bad emotions. And so? That's what I did.

I have to tell you that I felt SO much better once I'd taken a shower. I washed off my day at work. I washed off my negative feelings. I then came back to PD on the couch with a clean mind.

We were able to talk. Really talk. Of course, he was tired and so was I. We went to bed. Together. And it felt right.